Back to Work After Christmas #3 Without Alex
I’m having a day where I don’t want to deal with people.
A coworker asked about how my Christmas was, I said it was good. I survived. I had a couple of emotional moments where the tears came, but my sweet niece and nephew saw, came over, and gave me big hugs without even saying a word. It was a really sweet moment. She knows my story and I thought she could handle me being real about how hard Christmas is.
I felt like she didn’t even acknowledge any of what I said. Instead of recognizing that what I really was missing was watching my son, who would be 3, tear open his presents, she assumed I was sad because I’m divorced.
She started talking about how the holidays must be so hard for me and went into a narrative about how men “just do that (fall into drinking/drugs/cheating) when they go through a loss of a child and they can’t be around their wife because it’s too hard”.
It really rubbed me the wrong way and I corrected her in that, No. Men don’t “just do that” and to say it that way makes it sound as though they get a free pass for what they’ve done and those who they’ve hurt. I know more couples who have suffered the loss of a child who are still together than couples that are divorced, so no, they do not “just do that”.
She back pedaled, said that’s not what she meant, but by that time I was the one not acknowledging anything more that she was saying.
Everything that I’ve been through, and people think I’m still hung up on being single.
Am I sad that I’m divorced from a man who did and said horrible things to me when tragedy struck? Nope. Not sad about that part of that.
I wish I wasn’t the only manager in the office this week. I could have really used a mental health day after this past weekend.
Two more days of work. I can do this, right?
On the bright side, I’m hanging out with my knitting ladies tonight at Psycho Suzie’s. These women are so amazing. I’m touched to be a part of their lives and so glad that they are a part of mine.